Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
