It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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