just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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