All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
