TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize