Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
