I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i need some magic done to my vagina
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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