This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
