Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize