Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
