Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
