Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
