I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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