She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
