no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
not ubering you a puppy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
