O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
