After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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