I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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