i think i have herpe
just one?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
