hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
