I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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