pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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