Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize