New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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