I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
