2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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