I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize