Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
