Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
