She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That accounts for only three of the penises
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
