My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Randomize
