All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
