he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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