who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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