Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
