I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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