This is not my ceiling
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize