if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
