it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
