considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
