do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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