Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
