love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
