Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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