My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
