I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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