so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
