is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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