I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
