Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
