i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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