I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
