"it" just moved
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
