Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
