i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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