So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize