I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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