i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
