I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
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