Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Houston, we have a squirter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
