i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
