At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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