Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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