I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize