i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize