How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So vagazzling was a success
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
