For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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