They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
