Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Are my feet made of real feet?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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